Shi no Shintsuu
by gozaru
Summary: 2xR. 8 parts now. sorry about previous rating. i think it's not strong enough, PG. i have chaged it now.
1. Omoidasu

"Relena, I…gee, I don't know where to start.There are so many things I just gotta tell you.I mean, look at you.Always hiding behind that diplomatic smile, pretending everything's just dandy…you don't fool me, Relena.I can tell.I know how empty you feel.I've felt it too.You're a sensitive person, and you want more.You want affection.You want love.You want to be needed.More than what Heero'll ever give you."

Duo Maxwell looked down into Relena Peacecraft's eyes."Dammit, you're beautiful.You need someone who'll give you more, Relena.Someone like me…"

Duo lowered his mouth to Relena's and gently kissed it."You need me…"

Relena's face, unwavering, smiled back up at him.Duo took his lips of the picture."Damn, I miss you…"

He jumped up from his bed and put the picture back on his dresser with a heavy sigh._Don't you wish, Maxwell._A quick glance at his clock told him he had better get going before he missed all the great last-minute Christmas shopping sales.He opened one of his dresser drawers and glanced inside._Almost everything's black_, he silently grinned to himself.He pulled something out and laid it on the top of the dresser.

On Hilde's picture.

Hilde.He hadn't seen Hilde in three years.Three years ago, she had left him, "Believe me, it's for the best" being her last words.He had never really understood why she had left him, but it had left him feeling pretty lonely.

He sighed again and threw off his nightshirt before putting on a pair of black pants he picked up off the floor.He then gripped the turtle-necked sweater he had taken out of his dresser earlier and slipped it on.Once again he let his eyes fall to Hilde, as thoughts of his last day with her slowly flooded his mind…

_"__Duo!" screamed Hilde, bursting in the door to Duo's small apartment on L2. She was wearing a pretty white dress that Duo had recently bought her to cheer her up._

_ _

_"__What?" asked Duo from the couch.He was watching some Thursday primetime sitcom on television.He turned around and saw Hilde close to tears.Then he noticed her dress, and the realisation dawned on him.He groaned and got up, moving toward her.__"__Babe, I'm sorry…hell, I just…"_

_ _

_"__You what, Duo?You forgot?Again?"Saying this, she burst into tears.She couldn't help but collapse into her boyfriend's arms and cry her feelings out on his comforting body._

_ _

_"__Aww, Hilde, lemme explain!"Duo put his arms around her and gently rocked her back and forth.Hilde just cried harder when he said this.__"__Baby, Hilde…I just had a hard day at work.I feel so bad…that's twice now."_

_ _

_"__God, Duo!" she sobbed into his chest at this reminder._

Dammit, Maxwell, _he thought to himself, realising he had said something stupid._Look before you leap._"__Hilde," he lifted her face and stared into her eyes, "I'm so sorry.I'm such an idiot."With that, he brought his lips to hers and gave her a tender kiss.When he was done, he lifted his face again and smiled reassuringly down at her.__"__I swear it won't happen again."_

_ _

_She stopped crying for a moment and stared back at him.__"__No, Duo," she said, taking the little diamond ring off of her finger and squeezing it into his hands, "It won't."She reached up and kissed him again and then ran out his apartment door, her sobbing renewed.He had just stood there, staring, and hoping he was only experiencing a bad dream…_

Three days later he had received a letter from Hilde in the mail.At first, he was overjoyed.He thought that, perhaps, she was going to give him another chance.When he read it, though, his heart was perfectly shattered.

"Dear Duo,

I hope you're doing well.There are a lot of things I'm going to tell you, so make yourself comfortable.It's been a long time, hasn't it?Almost three years.When we first met so long ago, I never thought I was going to get so involved with you.Sure, you were cute – you still are – but you were too idealistic for me.Equality this, oppression that…but regardless of our conflicting opinions, even then every moment I spent with you was a pleasant one.You were a decent guy, Duo, and I kinda liked you, too.Time passed, we followed our own paths…After the war was over, I almost felt something romantic for you.But not quite yet.

We both moved back up to L2, but neither of us knew the other one was there too.Then we met one day at the movies…remember that?I'll never forget it, Duo.There you were, one of my best friends, standing before me.You were even cuter than you were when I first met you.We talked for a while after the show and found out that our apartments were in twenty minutes of each other.God, that was the best coincidence of my life.Then we started doing things together.And you eventually took me out to that restaurant…remember?When you had those four street singers come in?I was so embarrassed, but I loved you so much at that moment…I was officially yours now.I had never been happier in my life.

I'll never forget the next two and a half years of my life, Duo.I'll never forget when you finally asked me, either.You took me out to our favourite spot in the park, sat on the bench with me, and pretended to drop something.When you knelt up and placed that pretty little ring on my finger…Jesus, Duo.That's what I love most about you.You're so unpredictable.

But then things changed.I don't know what happened to you.You just stopped caring about me.First, you forgot our anniversary.I told myself that it was okay because every guy does that and we weren't married yet anyway.Then you stood me up.And then again.I blew it off as premarital stress, and I decided the best remedy would be to get the wedding over with.

So we set up an appointment with that guy who was going to do our reception.I even conceded to getting married in St. Maxwell's for you.I showed up to the meeting with that guy…Mr. Reade, or whatever.And we waited thirty minutes for you.You never showed up.Now, I was feeling the other end of the spectrum.I had never been more embarrassed in my life.I went to your apartment and found you napping.I woke you up and told you, but you didn't even care that much.You said you did, but I know you better than that.I can read you, Duo.We didn't talk for a week.

Then you came over and brought me that new dress.When I saw you come to the door, all wet from the rain, you looked so pitiful.You were carrying that box with a plastic bag over it, shielding its contents.I hesitatingly invited you in because you looked so cold.Then you gave me the box.The dress.I looked up and you and you were wearing that smile that cuts straight to my heart.I fell in love with you all over again that day, Duo Maxwell.And I forgave you, too.

We made another appointment; this time you promised to show up.I wore that dress you gave me, Duo.I don't know why I didn't just come by and get you.'I'll have to come straight from work, I'm pretty busy today.'Whatever.Twice.Twice you left me there alone, feeling like an idiot.I have no idea what that guy thinks about me now.'I just had a hard day at work…' Not this time, Duo.No more excuses.I can't go through it again.There will never be a Hilde Maxwell, Duo.Sorry.

I still love you, though.I still love you as much as always.I hope I'll get over you someday.I have to.My life will have to go on without you.I hope you find somebody who you really do love with all your heart.I hope you find someone worthy of you.I guess I just wasn't.

Love always"

She hadn't even signed her name.Duo noticed that the ink was smeared in many places by raindrops._Not raindrops, Maxwell.Tears._He had run immediately to her apartment, but she wasn't home.Two days later he returned.

She had moved.

"She didn't leave any forwarding address," the landlord had told him, shrugging."She just paid her last bills and said she was moving out.I couldn't tell you how to find her."

_ _

_Dammit.She really did leave._

_ _

_Forever?_

_ _

_Yeah, forever._

_ _

_But she said she still loves me!_

_ _

_Shut up, Maxwell.You're an asshole._

__

Then it was over.He hadn't seen her since.

It had taken Duo about a year to fully get over Hilde.He kept kicking himself for losing such a great thing he had and not doing enough to get it back.Eventually, though, he realised that there was no way he would ever get Hilde back and moved on with his life.His new love interest was Relena Peacecraft.

Just less than a month ago Duo had been invited back down to earth for a Thanksgiving party with the old crew.It was at this party that Relena and Heero had announced that they would be married in April.Although Duo was happy for his old friend and Relena, He knew there was something wrong.

Relena loved Heero.There was no disputing that.But did Heero really love her back?All throughout Duo's stay down on earth, he never once heard Heero tell Relena that he loved her.He never hugged her, never kissed her…hell; he never even smiled at her!And although Relena loved Heero, was she really happy with him?

She knew it too.Heero never showed any outward sign of affection for her.When they announced their plans for their wedding, Relena had thrown her arms around him, bawling tears of happiness, telling him how much she loved him.He didn't do more than nod back at her.

Duo slumped down on his bed.How come Heero get Relena?She's the kind of girl that needs to feel loved.She's pretty, too…

_ _

_Maxwell, stop it!Thou shalt not covet!_

_ _

_Well, I only want what's best for her…_

It was hopeless.He knew he'd never get her, and soon he had damn well better stop pretending, too._She's off limits to me_, he thought.

He grabbed his minister's collar and slipped it on._Well, I'd better get going_.He picked up his wallet and walked out the door, ready to go shopping for the impending Christmas party.


	2. Sou ja nai, Quatre

Author note: please tell me what you think of the English used in this fic, I don't speak it native, but my friend has help me translate and write it perfect.Thanks.Oh and if anyone care (I know you don't =)) it's gonna take me a while for each so I can get translate and everything, also, I am using m9 for quatre's car because it could happen, you never know, the car I have is m5, best car in the world!I just went to auto show, the z9 looks so great but it's so expensive

Duo Maxwell gazed out the shuttle window toward Earth.In just two hours, he would be back on the beautiful planet again.And when he landed in the Peacecraft Interplanetary Spaceport, he would see all of his friends again.

The person he was looking most forward to seeing was, of course, Relena Peacecraft herself.Ever since Duo had found out the she was marrying Heero Yuy, he had developed some inexplicable desire to take his place as Relena's groom._Well, maybe not that inexplicable_, he smirked.Ever since their first fateful meeting, Duo had felt something for Relena.

_ _

_Who is that guy…?And who's that girl behind him?Wow…she's pretty.From the way she's dressed, I guess she's rich too.I think I might have seen her somewhere before.I wonder if she's free?The young Gundam pilot chuckled to himself as he imagined some pretty rich girl being HIS girlfriend.What a pair they would make…his thoughts were suddenly interrupted as he saw the guy standing in front of her point a gun at her._

Damn!Who is he?_Duo pulled out his gun and fired a quick round at the young man about to kill that pretty girl.Wow…he had just saved her life.Maybe he would have a chance with her after all!_

_"Kouiu baai dou mitatte omae ga warumono da ru.In this situation, anyone can see you are the badguy."_

_"No!Don't shoot!"_

Boy.Relena really was something else.Hilde would never have taken a bullet for him, especially not if he had just tried to shoot her.And justly, Duo's Christmas present to Relena was a pure white dress much in the fashion of the one he had bought for Hilde so long ago, very emblematic of her chaste devotion.

Duo was also looking forward to seeing his old friend, Heero Yuy (although he couldn't admit that he agreed with his friend's treatment of his fiancée).Heero and Duo still had a score to settle from the Thanksgiving party, after all.Duo grinned at his plan for a New Year's Eve contest.He had gotten Heero a navy blue sports jacket to go with the new tie Quatre had said he was getting for him.

Quatre Rabaerba Winner.Duo hadn't seen his Arabian friend in person since last Christmas; he hadn't seen able to make it to the Thanksgiving party on account of some very important business meeting for the Winner Conglomerate.Of course, Quatre was amoung the most affluent members of society in the world, able to fully enjoy all the ritzy benefits of being an extremely successful businessman.Duo hadn't known what to get Quatre…after all, he damn well had everything.Well, he certainly could accessorise a little bit.Duo had gotten him a pair of snazzy glasses.

Trowa Barton was Duo's only potential competition for his little surprise plan for New Year's.Trowa was always a rather shy person who liked to keep to himself, so Duo had gotten him a book for Christmas.And since Trowa spoke fluent Spanish, Duo figured he might as well have gotten a Spanish novel.Finally choosing a supposed classic from the AD years, Duo purchased Miguel de Cervantes' _Don Quixote de la Mancha_.

That left Chang Wu Fei.Duo and his Chinese friend had always had a sort of playful (although at times, you wouldn't know it…) rivalry.For Thanksgiving, Wu Fei had surprised Duo by bringing him a present.When Duo opened it, he found scrunchies.Duo, in turn, had gotten Wu Fei the perfect Christmas gift – a flamboyantly pink-coloured oxford-dress shirt complete with vest ruffles.Duo chuckled at the thought of his friend's guaranteed indignation.

"_Altitude: 55000 metres, please prepare yourself for stratosphere re-entry._"

The stewardess' voice stirred Duo from his reverie.The intercolonial travel simply seemed to so much faster to him anymore._I hope I'm not getting **old** anytime soon._He laughed to himself at the thought.

A few minutes later, Duo was walking into the airport terminals scanning the crowd for one of his friends.Quatre's neatly combed blond head stuck out near the back, and his hand was waving frantically in the air as he was trying to get through the mob._Poor Quatre_, Duo thought._He never did really grow, did he_?He smiled and meandered through the horde to where Quatre was waiting for him.

"'Ey Quatre, how's it hanging?How come you're here to pick me up?You got the short straw?"Duo chortled slightly, evidently thinking he had made a joke.

"Actually, Wu Fei got the short straw, but we knew better than to send him to pick you up," Quatre politely responded.

"Very funny, Q.Here."Duo shoved one of his bags into Quatre's arms."So, what are we waiting around for?Let's get outta here."

The ride back to the Peacecraft estate was mostly a silent one.A few comments and questions had been traded, but for the better part of the trip, Duo and Quatre had ridden in silence.Finally, when the trip was nearing its conclusion, Duo opted to start a conversation.He cleared his throat before speaking."Uhh…Quatre?"

"Hmm?"

"Er…how long have you been down here?"

"At the Estate?I've been here for about a week now, and I'm staying until late January.It took a lot to satiate the Winner Conglomerate business partners, but I finally managed to make them happy enough to where I could get enough time off.It's really a pain sometimes."

Duo scratched his head."Yeah, but it sure pays off…" he said, looking around the inside of Quatre's new M9."Man, I wish I was this rich.I bet the girls are all over you, huh?"

Quatre blushed."Well, not really…I mean, I don't have much time to start a relationship, especially not right now.How about you?Got a new girl yet?" Quatre asked, eager to change the focus to Duo.

"Oh, well…" it was Duo's turn to blush."Nah, I haven't really invested any time in that since Hilde and I broke it off."

"No one special?"

"Er, no, not really," Duo lied.Quatre just smiled a knowing grin at Duo and went back to driving.

"Uh…anyway, how's everyone been lately?"

"Duo…you just saw us all less than a month ago."

"Well, yeah, but I mean…is there any news?"

"I dunno.I guess it depends on what type of news."

"Anything between Heero and Relena?"

"Nah, nothing new.Relena's pretty excited about everything, but Heero really doesn't seem to be too happy with all the attention he's getting."

"Yeah, that sounds like Heero all right.He never really struck me as the type to be getting married, anyway.Do you…uh…think he really wants to?"

Quatre chuckled."Well, it's not like he really has a choice!Relena's pretty set on this.He'll get used to it eventually.I think he really cares for her in his heart.Anyway, there's no one to take his place."

_Sure there is!_ Duo said to himself._What about me?_

"Well, we're here now," Quatre told Duo, pulling into the Peacecraft Estate's enormous circular driveway.The garden was beautiful; there were flawlessly preened shrubs littering the area, the every tree was decorated in observance of Christmas, and the driveway edges were sprinkled with white and black roses imported directly from Sweden.

_White and Black_, Duo thought to himself._They look so beautiful together…I know it's possible…_


	3. Heero no Shikujiri

_Gee...who would have thought that tuxedos were so damn awkward?_Duo cursed himself for letting Relena talk him in to wearing a fancy tux for the Christmas celebration.Of course, since it was Relena requesting that he dress up, he only thought it proper to comply with her refined preferences.

"O-ho-ho!Here comes bishounen Maxwell now, all prettied up in a suit!"Fellow Gundam pilot Wu Fei Chang sniggered as Duo forced himself down the hall, looking very uncomfortable in the restraining ensemble in which he was dressed.Duo restrained himself, knowing that Wu Fei's time would come later tonight at gift exchange time.

"Oh, stop, Wu Fei!"Relena giggled watching Duo trying to make his way into the dining area."You look cute," she told him as he passed her.He started blushing (_Did she really say that to _me_?_), so he sped up, telling her that she didn't look too bad herself, and making his way into the enormous dining room.

Duo walked around to the far side of the table where his found his name inscribed on a table tent.He was at the corner of the table, right by Milliardo, Relena's older brother, who occupied the head.Relena sat at the far head, with Heero right next to her.Quatre was on Duo's other side, and Wu Fei was across the table from him.The last two places were occupied by Lucrezia Noin, former OZ lieutenant, and Trowa.Relena came in and took her seat.

Duo, naturally, opened the conversation."So…let's eat?Of course, it _is_ Christmas, so we should _logically_ say a blessing for our meal.And I think I'm best suited for the job, since I've had the most formal training, and on top of…"

Duo never got to finish his self-praising lecture before he was interrupted."Shut up and pray if you're going to, manuke."

"Geez…lighten up, Wu!"Duo said a quick blessing and the feast commenced.

"Mmm.I love turkey," Duo declared as he picked a turkey leg off of the plate.

"Your etiquette is appalling," Wu Fei told Duo with a glare.

"Duo smiled back mischievously."_You're_ just sore because I got the best piece."

"I prefer the white meat, Maxwell.The dark meat is not as healthy.Not that that's a problem for you.Eat all you want.I won't complain."

"Hey!That's a bit harsh, Wu-man!Of course, I can't say it'd be _too_ much of a burden to die…I wouldn't have to put up with all your crao about my honour this and my justice that."Duo made a show of mimicking Wu Fei.

"MAXWELL!"

Duo's eyes sparkled at making Wu Fei angry.

"Both of you are acting like children.Can we at least have a Christmas meal without the two of you fighting?"

Both Duo and Wu Fei turned toward the source of the indictment.When they saw that it was Trowa who had spoken, their eyes, along with everyone else's, widened ("Trowa?Was that you!?").

It was peculiar that the normally taciturn young man had made such a forthright statement."Well," he said when he noticed all the eyes staring at him, "It would be pleasant to have Christmas dinner without all the bickering."

"Well said, Mr. Barton," chuckled Milliardo."Anyhow, Duo, I haven't had much of a chance to talk to you lately.We've got a lot of catching up to do."

"Later, Mil!" interrupted Relena."I wanna talk about the wedding!"

Duo, Wu Fei, Trowa, and even Heero groaned, but Quatre grew very excited at the mention of the upcoming event.Duo's heart sank at the reminder of his beloved's current engagement to one of his best friends.Wu Fei garbled some inarticulate phrase about on'nas and their superficial minds and that it would be good for Relena to have a man looking after her, not that girly-faced Milliardo.Trowa, having stayed at the Peacecraft estate through the month of December, was tired of hearing about the wedding and he didn't think there was anything left to say about it.Heero, of course, heard about the wedding every private moment he had with Relena (not to mention every public one).Quatre, however, was thrilled to be able to discuss the aesthetic aspects of the wedding and reception (most significantly, the dress code).He had sort of appointed himself the fashion maharishi for the whole things and revelled in every moment he got to talk about how pretty he was going to make everything look.

"Oh, let's!"Quatre replied to Relena with a wide smile on his face.The other former Gundam pilots all groaned again, this time with Milliardo included.Noin, being a girl, unsurprisingly wanted to talk about the wedding as well, and even Wu Fei knew it would be a futile effort to argue with _two_ on'nas.Resigned to their fate, the guys all sat back and decided to make the best of it.

"So," Quatre started, most obviously pleased, "Have you decided between pink and sky blue yet?I was thinking more, and the pink would be a great complement to the floral arrangement I have planned."

"Yeah, I guess," Relena answered."But wouldn't a pale blue color balance with the servants' dress code?"

Quatre contemplated Relena's suggestion, thinking about the chic baby-blue sports jackets he had ordered for Relena's servants."Yeah, I suppose you're right.But the bridesmaids are going to be wearing the pale magenta, remember?Maybe pink would be better after all.Blue stains a lot easier anyway."

Noin entered the conversation at this point."Yeah, blue might stain easier, but pale colours are much easier to wash than the dark pink you're recommending.I think the blue would go better with the pool and fountain, too, not to mention the sky."She turned to Relena."What do you think?"

At this point the five guys were in awful humours knowing that they were going to have to listen to this ridiculous discussion all through their Christmas dinner."Well," Relena answered Noin, "both colours sound positively magnificent.Of course, I suppose the bridegroom should have a say in this, hm?What do you think, Heero?"Heero turned away from her gaze and responded by not speaking at all."Well?Heero?" she asked again.

"I don't even want to talk about this damn wedding.That's all you ever talk about."

Everyone gasped.

Noin had a terrified look on her face.Quatre looked very irritated.Trowa, as usual, was expressionless.Something in his eyes, however, gave the impression that he was quite surprised.Duo didn't know what to think.He just sat there, appalled at Heero's response.Wu Fei had a rather smug look on his face and he reminded himself that he would have to congratulate Heero on putting the woman in her place.Milliardo seemed slightly upset, but slightly relieved as well.

And Relena started bawling.

She got up from her place at the head of the table and ran from the room weeping.Both Milliardo and Duo got up to go comfort her, but Quatre stopped them.

"Guys, let me talk to her.I know how she's feeling."He shot a menacing glare in Heero's direction.Heero shrugged apologetically.

Duo and Milliardo sat back down.Wu Fei looked disgusted at Relena's weakness of spirit, and Noin almost looked ready to cry as well.Duo was the first to ask the question that was on everyone's mind (except maybe Wu Fei's…he was more likely pondering the feeble emotional pain threshold that seemed to be characteristic of all women)."Why did you have to say _that_, Heero?"

Heero looked away again."I didn't mean for it to come out so coldly."

Noin grumbled.Heero looked to the group.

"Every time we're together, anywhere, all she wants to talk about is that damn wedding!I'm getting really sick of it."He looked away again."Dammit."He picked up his plate, scooped a little more food onto it, and left the table to go eat in private somewhere.Duo got up to follow him, too, but Milliardo stopped him this time.

"Let him go.He needs to sort this out."

"That asshole," Noin spat.

A few minutes later, Quatre and a calmed Relena came back to the table.Relena looked toward Heero's place, and, noticing his absence, almost began to cry again.Wu Fei rolled his eyes, and Duo, gentleman as he was, tried to comfort her."He didn't mean it, Relena.He's just stressed or something"

Noin added her opinion, saying, "Don't worry about it, Relena.Guys are just jerks like that."Milliardo gave her a hurt look, and Wu Fei turned a bright crimson (_Hey!It matches that shirt I bought him_) and opened his mouth wide to yell something.Milliardo noticed him, though, and spoke quickly.

"Nah, I…uhh…just think it's the stress.Prenuptial stress is a normal thing.Don't get yourself worked up over it.He'll be fine if you give him a while to cool off.He didn't mean to say that."

"Yeah, and not all guys are jerks," Duo added.Wu Fei crossed his arms and gave Noin a triumphant look, and she just rolled her eyes back at him.

Everyone went back to eating his or her dinner, but henceforth it was mostly a silent one.There wasn't much conversation; everyone was in an unpleasantly foul temper after Heero's incident.The food was slowly eaten, being picked at by most. When the dinners were finished, Relena thanked everyone and excused herself to her room.Quatre followed her, and the other former pilots returned to their proper rooms.

Duo collapsed on his bed and stared at his ceiling, deep in thought._What if Heero doesn't want to marry Relena after all?What if the wedding is called off?Will she want to take a chance with me?Would she ever want to?_Myriad questions plagued his head, and even though he was in a sour mood, that great Christmas food was getting to him.He gently dozed of to sleep, with thoughts of what might be between Relena and him on his mind._Please don't want to marry her, Heero…_


	4. Futatsu yo

Duo woke up feeling rather sour the day after Christmas.The atmosphere was still tainted with Heero's harsh statements to Relena.Yesterday's gift exchange had helped to lighten the mood – especially Duo's gift to Wu Fei ("Duo, you've put my nametag on your gift to Quatre.""Naw, that one's for you, Wu.""Nani!?Injustice!") – but it wasn't enough to mask Relena's obvious depression.Duo had just wanted to throw his arms around her and tell her she would be better off with him than with Heero anyway, but he knew it would only complicate the situation, and besides, Relena couldn't like him anyway.

Duo stepped into the bathroom and washed himself up.Today promised to be an interesting day.Since Relena wasn't going to be in meetings today, she wanted to spend it with her friends.Milliardo would have nothing of it and insisted she take bodyguards; she had simply laughed at him and reminded him whom she was going into town with.

Duo finished brushing his teeth and spat into the sink.He went to his suitcase and glanced inside, looking for something casual to wear.After little deliberation, he grabbed a black T-Shirt and some black slacks.Duo hated denim.

He promptly dressed himself, slipped on his minister's collar and a pair of shoes, and exited toward the dining room to meet the others for breakfast.

As he sat down, he noticed he wasn't the only one who was still in a rotten mood from yesterday.Quatre seemed to be the worst of all; even his usually cheerful style of dress was out of order.Instead of his customary pastels and vivid colours, he was wearing a greyish shirt.Wu Fei even seemed to be in a bad mood, but that might be attributed to the fact that he had received a pink shirt for Christmas.Speaking of which…He's wearing it!?No way!

"Hey…uhh…Wu Fei…you're wearing the shirt I gave you."

Wu Fei grumbled audibly."I was tricked into it by that woman over there."He nodded his head toward Relena."But don't get used to it, Maxwell, you baka.I don't wear girly shirts like Quatre!"

"Yeah."Duo didn't even feel like laughing when he saw Relena, and he definitely wondered how she had managed to "trick" Wu Fei into wearing a pink shirt.She looked like she hadn't gotten any sleep the night before.She had visible bags under her eyes, and her whole countenance was glum.She didn't even look like she had bothered herself too much with the outfit she was wearing."Morning, Relena.You look great." he lied with a smile.

"Morning, Duo."She turned to him and forced a smile back."Take a seat, it's almost ready, I think."

Duo sat down and scanned the faces at the table.Heero was still missing.He thought about asking about it, but he decided it would be better it he didn't.

"Heero's meeting us in town, Duo." Quatre told him.Duo was a bit startled by the fact that Quatre had known that he was wondering where Heero was, but his attention was quickly filched by the aroma of freshly baked pancakes coming from the kitchen.After all, the meagre breakfasts he whipped up for himself back on L2 – mostly cereal or oatmeal – were nothing compared to a genuine freshly baked meal.

There wasn't a terrible lot of conversation during breakfast.Everyone's mind seemed to be on one thing, and no one was going to bring it up.Still, everyone generally enjoyed the food, and everyone's mood was fairly alleviated by the meal (excepting Wu Fei, who was terribly angry at having to wear a pink shirt with vest ruffles).

After the breakfast, everyone prepared for the scheduled outing.Relena refused to have one of her butlers drive; she reminded them that she had given them all the day off and that they weren't due back until 1930 that night.She was, after all, going into town with four perfectly capable drivers.Duo's heart took an ephemeral leap, as he was about to volunteer to drive Relena into town.It was then he remembered that he had no car.

"I'll be happy to take you all in my car," Quatre told the group."It seats five, so we'll all fit nicely.I'll drive, and Relena can sit up front with me."

"There is no way in hell I am sitting next to Duo," Wu Fei said.

Duo was beginning to get a bit jealous of Quatre and all the time he seemed to spend with Relena.Every time she was unhappy, it seemed to be Quatre who got to console her.Now, he got to sit next to her in the car…

_Come off it, Maxwell, he told himself.Don't be so damn jealous all of the time.It's not like she's your girl anyway._

They all went out to the massive driveway and piled in Quatre's car.Duo got the window seat behind Quatre, with Wu Fei on the other side and an extremely unfortunate Trowa in the middle.

Quatre eased out of the driveway and headed out toward town.

"Uhm…Quatre?"

"Yeah, Relena?"

"Town's the other way."

Quatre blushed and made a U-turn.Everyone chuckled a bit; Wu Fei guffawed loudly and made an inappropriate comment about Quatre having the mind of a woman, at which point everyone ceased laughing a glared at him.He quickly stopped laughing himself and put on an expression that seemed to say, "What did I do?"

The remainder of the short excursion was endured mostly in silence.A few comments here and there about the environment were made, but for the most part, nothing that would be considered conversation was made.At last, Quatre entered town and found his way to the V.I.P. parking lot in which he deposited his car.He was also the first to speak up.

"Alright, there are five of us.Heero's supposed to meet us up here later, so that'll make six.If we plan on splitting up, we need to meet for lunch at about noon and then back here around 1900.We also need to go in groups of two."

Heero pulled up next to the group, parked, and hopped out of his car.He nodded in their direction but didn't make any eye contact.

"Okay," Quatre continued, "I'm headed to the clothing outlet!Who's with me?"

"Hell no!" Wu Fei interjected."I'm headed…elsewhere.And not with Duo, either."

"Aww, that hurts, Wu."_Now's my chance!_"I guess I'll go with Re—"

Duo was cut off by Relena herself."I suppose Heero and I will go into town together."She looked toward Heero, who looked back at her and nodded.Duo was crestfallen.

"Alright then," Quatre acknowledged, "Let's meet…say, at Migii Kobe at noon."Relena and Heero started off.

"Then I'm with Trowa!"Wu Fei shuddered at the thought of being stuck with Quatre in fashion retail all day, and he almost felt sorry for Duo.Certainly not enough to rescue him from his plight by inviting that annoying son-of-a-bitch along with him, but he still almost felt sorry for him."Come on, Trowa.Let's go find something."He took off hurriedly with Trowa in tow before Quatre invited them to come along too.

"Well, then I guess it's you and me, Duo!" Quatre said with a cheery smile.

"Yeah.I guess."Duo was still a bit disappointed at missing his chance, but Quatre was a good buddy, and he figured they would have a good time.Little did he know what Quatre had planned…

It seemed like years to Duo, but finally, after trying on what seemed like _every_ outfit in the store, noon finally came around and he was freed."Hey, Quatre…it's time for lunch!" he groaned as Quatre shoved another outfit into his arms.

"Just this last one, ne?"

"I would, I mean, I'm having a whole lot of fun, but I don't want to keep the others waiting, ya know?"

"Oh, I'm sure they'll be fine, Duo!If you're having fun I'm sure they wouldn't mind anyways."It was at that moment that Wu Fei walked past the shop outside and sniggered at Duo.

"Lunchtime, Maxwell!Or would you rather try on some more pretty clothes?Bwahahahahahahaha!"He waited for an answer.

"I wouldn't be talking, Wu."Duo smiled facetiously as Wu Fei turned a very peculiar shade only describable as cerise, but he silently made a mental note to thank his Chinese friend later for rescuing him.

"Oh, Wu, you're such a spoilsport," Quatre grumbled.He picked up his bags, handed Duo his own, and walked out to the sidewalk."I thought you guys were in such a big hurry!" he whined."Come on, we'll be late to Migii Kobe."

Trowa appeared on the sidewalk behind Wu Fei, completely engrossed by the latest issue of _Lions, Tigers, and Bears_."I'm coming, guys.Sorry to hold you up.Di you get your order, Wu Fei?"

Again, Wu Fei became an irregular reddish shade and muttered something about a delivery and why Trowa should keep his mouth shut and at least he wasn't wearing girly clothes like Duo.

"Yeah you are, Wu."

"_Injustice!_"

When they arrived at the restaurant, they found that Heero and Relena hadn't arrived yet.Quatre politely requested a table for six.The waitress showed them to their place, and they sat down to wait for Heero and Relena.

"I say we order without those two," Wu Fei told the others."I'm hungry and they probably are having too much fun to come join us, and it's just like an on'na to forget anyhow."

"Well, it would certainly be more considerate to wait for them," Quatre answered."I'm sure they'll show up."He checked his watch."It's only five after."

"I say we wait, too," said Duo._But I hope they're not having fun…_

Abruptly, Relena burst into the restaurant, her eyes full of tears.Duo instantly regretted his fancy upon seeing her so miserable.She gazed around the restaurant, and, upon seeing the guys, rushed over to their table.Duo immediately got up from his seat, hurried over to her, and grabbed her in his arms.She collapsed against his shoulder and sobbed louder."Relena…Relena…it's okay, it's alright…" Duo wanted to lift her face up to his and kiss her gently, reassuring her that he was there to protect her; he knew he couldn't

"What the hell happened!?"Wu Fei yelled, livid.It was one thing to put a woman in her place, but it was another to take advantage of her.Although he was extremely angry and rather embarrassed at having Relena cry in public, she hadn't even cried this hard when Heero had blown her off on Christmas day.He knew someone must have done something really bad to her.

Quatre was the first to put the pieces together.He looked at the ground and softly pronounced, "Heero's not here."Trowa immediately realized what Quatre meant, but it took the other two longer to figure it out.

"He certainly isn't in trouble, is he?" asked Wu Fei.Then, remembering what had happened the last time Relena had cried so hard, it hit him like a brick."That bastard!In public, too!"He had gone too far this time.

Relena had clamed down slightly, comforted by Duo's gentle embrace, but Duo had yet to realize what the other three had."Relena…where's Heero?" he softly asked her.She resumed her fit of tears, and Duo mentally kicked himself._You idiot, Maxwell.You damn idiot._"Shh…I'm sorry, Relena.I'm sorry."He leaned his head down and quietly kissed the top of hers."Everything's gonna be okay, I promise."

Relena lifted her head up from Duo's should and looked at him with tear-filled eyes."Duo…I…I gotta go…home."


	5. Mejia-Shiku

"Dammit!"Duo switched the television off and disgustedly threw the remote on the floor._Now I'm involved in this crap._It was all he could do to prevent himself from marching into Heero's room and strangling him (or at least trying to…when he thought about it, it would be pretty tough to even get out of there without having every bone broken in his body if he decided to threaten Heero's life).Everyone had taken it differently.Wu Fei had to be sedated to prevent him from killing Heero (he was currently deep in anger-managing meditation); the cameras had caught him with the crying Relena.Quatre had held in his emotions on the subject until they had returned to the Peacecraft mansion.He retired to his room and silently cried himself to sleep.Trowa didn't show any outward emotion, but he had locked himself in his room, and he wasn't coming out.

Relena, of course, was taking it the hardest.On the ride home from town, she had sat in the back of the car with Duo, crying on his shoulder and ruining his new…ochre…silk shirt (à la Quatre).Wu Fei was angry that the press had caught him on tape with a crying on'na, but he was absolutely infuriated with Heero.Quatre had let Trowa drive; he was simply too melancholy to trust himself with four other people's lives.

Milliardo had been standing in the entryway when they had pulled up."It's on TV.And it's really bad."

Less than half an hour had passed since, but Duo had seen enough on the news to nauseate him thoroughly.It was all exactly as Relena had told him amid her perpetual tears.Evidently some reporter for the World News Association had run into Heero and Relena on the street.She had stopped the pair to ask a few question about the wedding, and Heero had turned to the camera and plainly said, "What makes you think there's gonna even be a wedding?"He had then walked off and left Relena to explain.

The interviewer had bombarded her with stupid questions ("Is the relationship between you and Mr. Yuy still satisfactory?What was he talking about?Has Mr. Yuy found someone else?What are you planning to do about this?Do you consider this a major setback in your personal life?").Duo could see by the look in her eyes on the television that she was not only flustered, but also heartbroken.She had immediately begun to cry and ran toward the restaurant.The reporter followed her in, and the last thing that was televised was a very angry-looking Wu Fei in a pink shirt rushing toward the camerawoman who was trying to focus on Duo holding Relena in the background.After the footage was cut, the news anchors had come on."A serious relationship between Supreme Consul Relena Peacecraft and the young man shown in the recording, known as Duo Maxwell, is as of yet unconfirmed.However, insiders suggest that he and Ms. Peacecraft may indeed have a significant romantic relation.At this point, Duo had shut off the TV.

"Dammit!" he cursed again, slamming his fist into the night table.Now he knew what is was like to be preyed on by an insatiable media.Now he knew how it must feel to have a ravenous media prying into every part of your personal life and twisting it to their proper desires.Now, he was a part of it.

His thoughts reverted to Relena.He knew that no matter how bad things were for _him_ he could never imagine how bad _she_ must feel.Being the Supreme Consul of the New World Peace Order, she had a hectic enough life as it was, without Heero complicating her personal life, too.Again, Duo had to stifle the urge to run into Heero's room and choke him to death.

And Duo knew the media was going to portray Heero as the victim.They were going to make Relena out to be having an affair with _him_, deceiving poor, naïve, innocent Heero.What had Heero done anyway?He was just trying to plan his wedding and life as quiet a life as possible, being the fiancé of one of the most important women in the world.But Heero just wasn't exciting enough for Relena._And that's where I come in…_ Duo thought._You just can't be the friend of a very important woman anymore without being a target of the media._

He wanted to leave it all and go right back to L2, but he couldn't leave Relena here all alone.True, if he had ever had any morsel of a chance of having a relationship with Relena, it was ruined now, but he still loved her, and if he just left, it would make it worse.Of course, he shuddered at the thought of what the media would do when they found out that Duo was staying at the Peacecraft's estate…

He was contemplating tramping up to the media office and strangling the anchormen – they would certainly be easier to strangle than Heero – when there came a knock on his door.

"Come in."He was almost hoping it would be Heero, so he could strangle him.The door opened, but it wasn't Heero standing in his doorway.

"Hi."

"Oh, hey, Quatre.What's up?"

A puffy-eyed Quatre stepped in the room and took a seat next to Duo on the bed."This is pretty bad for you, huh?"

"Eh, I've had worse.Don't worry about it."

"Duo…the entire world is now going to think that you are having an affair with Relena.It might not seem bad to you, but this is going to be top news for a while.They aren't going to just let this one go.This is really serious.News doesn't get much bigger than this."

"Aw, I can take care of myself.I'm really more worried about Relena than anything else.I mean, in addition to the normal stress from her job and this crap Heero is giving her, she's gotta deal with this now.That's too much for anyone.Even Wu Fei couldn't put up with this."

"It certainly must be intense for her," Quatre said with a soft smile."It's very kind of you to be so thoughtful of her when you have yourself to think about."

"Hey, I already told you I could take care of myself.You don't seem to be taking this too well yourself."

"Well…" Quatre looked toward the floor."I just don't understand Heero.After all this planning, all this time, even after the public announcement, he's said nothing about not wanting to get married.But now that the wedding is so close, he's being absolutely cold-blooded in his actions toward Relena.I don't understand how anyone could be that malicious!He doesn't even explain.He just basically says, 'It's over.'Even on TV!"

Duo's eyes narrowed and his hands clenched into fists."Yeah.I can't believe him either.When I see that miserable look in Relena's eyes, I can't believe he would readily hurt her so much.Dammit!If there were just some way I could take away all that pain…"

Quatre looked back up."You love her, don't you, Duo?"

Duo was taken aback by Quatre's question."Er…what!?"

"You love Relena, don't you?It's kind of obvious, to me at least.What I mean to say is, you always seem to…"

"I have no idea what you're taking about," Duo interrupted him.

"Duo…"

"Man, I can't believe it.You too, huh?I guess a guy can't just be a girl's friend anymore, huh?What about you, Quatre?Are you saying this because _you_ love her?" Duo yelled at Quatre.

Quatre looked away again."Duo…you can tell me whatever you want to, but I know the truth."

"Yeah, well, you know what, Quatre?You can get the hell out of here right now."

Quatre sighed and despondently raised himself from his seat on the bed."Duo…"

"Leave, Quatre.Go talk to your WNA friends."

"I'm leaving, Duo.I just want to advise you a little bit.It might not be wise to keep your emotions veiled.You never know, after all, when she _will_ need you."

"Get the hell outta here!" Duo screamed, and Quatre stepped out the door, closing it behind him.Duo slammed his fist into his pillow as Quatre left the room.

Quatre knew.

_OK, so what if he knows?It's not like anyone else could possibly know.Quatre would never tell anyone else anyway.But still, why the hell did he bring it up?And how did he find out?What if he tells Relena?No – he wants me to.Gee, I always thought that Quatre was smarter than that.He's gotta know how brainless that would be…_

_Relena's got Heero.He might be acting like a jackass lately, but that's not ever going to change her feelings for him.She loves him, and she always will.She'll _never_ love me.She's like, ordained to be with him or something._

_Anyway, he's better known than I am, he's much richer than I am, and he's probably more attractive to her than I am.On top of all that, they've been in a relationship for years.There's no way I even have a chance with her at all.What the hell is Quatre's problem?He should know exactly how she feels!She probably pours her heart out to him…_

_Holy crap._

Duo jumped off of his bead and rushed out of his room into the hallway.He thought frantically about which room was Quatre's.He took a wild guess and swung open the door.Sure enough, Quatre was sitting in a chair staring out his balcony.He turned toward Duo, a bit startled.

"Quatre…what did you mean when you said I never know when she _will_ need me?"


	6. Onegai

"Duo?"Quatre was puzzled by his friend's appearance.

"Tell me, Quatre!What did you mean?" Duo's voice demanded an immediate response."What were you talking about?"

Quatre turned to face Duo."Well, you seem rather eager to talk to me about a subject you just discarded me for bringing up."He smiled softly.

"Man, Quatre, you've gotta tell me what you meant!"

"Duo…" Quatre sighed."It's not as simple as you're probably hoping."He turned to look out his balcony window again.

"Damn it, Quatre…talk to me!"

Quatre sighed deeply again."I shouldn't have said anything."Duo stepped brusquely toward Quatre, clearly becoming more than little fractious.

Quatre turned back around and put his hands up in surrender, smiling kindly again."Just relax, Duo. Take a seat."Duo sat down gruffly, but his attitude didn't take any visible turn for the better yet.

"Alright," Quatre began."I'll try to make this brief."Duo grunted."Relena's been…well, under some really heavy tension lately.You know for yourself what's going on.Anyway, it's ruining her, Duo.I mean, you know Relena.She is, I suppose, a considerably strong-willed girl.You wouldn't normally expect a person like that to cry in public.But she's being torn apart by this, Duo.For the past five months this wedding has been in the works, and the public has known about it for just over a month.She's put any extra energy and time she has into this wedding.She's given the past five months of her life to it, Duo.

"Then Christmas came.Christmas is intended to be a cheerful time.But Relena's was ruined.Duo, if you could have seen her after she left the table…when I followed her to her room and saw her weeping into her pillow, I was very angry with Heero.He had no right to treat her like that.I thought that maybe he was just under a lot of stress lately too.I talked with Relena a little bit, and I explained to her that Heero probably didn't mean what he said.

"But even though he tried to act sorry, he didn't make any attempt to rectify his gaffe.He avoided her the rest of Christmas, and even though she tried to act like she was all right, I could tell she was really hurt by his cold-shoulder treatment."

"Damn, Quatre, get on with it!"

"Fine.Later in the night I went to visit her again, and she was crying to herself.When I came in the room she tried to stop and cover it up, of course.I told her she cou…"

Duo advanced toward Quatre.

"Alright, alright!" Quatre continued."She told me everything.She said it wasn't the first time that Heero had talked to her about being sick of the wedding.She told me she was quite frightened that she just wasn't good enough for him anymore.She said she was afraid that he might choose not to marry her."

"Damn!"Duo slammed his fist against Quatre's floor."She's a hundred times what that bastard deserves!If he ever says anything to her about that again, I swear I'll put him in the hospital!"

"Duo!You shouldn't be so violent!"

"You said it yourself, Quatre!He's tearing her apart!I can't let him do that!"

"That's what I mean, Duo."

"Huh?"

"She's going to need you if he does."Quatre once again averted his face.

"Oh…Quatre…you know I can't."Quatre didn't respond.He simply turned toward the window again and collapsed back into thought.Duo got up and walked out of the room, finding his way toward a kitchen.He was really thirsty.

_I can't, there's no way, especially not after this…but I _hate Heero_!Man, if I could…_

"Been a long day, huh?"

Duo turned toward the voice that had addressed him."Oh, hey Milliardo.Yeah, It's been kind of crazy, I guess."Having reached the kitchen, Duo grabbed a glass and filled it with ice water.

"I'll bet.This probably hasn't ever happened to you before.Relena has to put up with this often.Well, nothing this bad, you know, but crap from the media, or whatever."

Duo turned toward Milliardo with a knowing glance.Finally, there was something he could understand in all this chaos."You're worried about her, huh?"Duo had felt the same feeling many times before with the kids back at the church on L2.Kids with no living parents were naturally rougher and tougher, and sometimes even calloused from tragedies in their past.But the kids back on L2 were good kids, and Relena was perfect.Duo knew that fraternal safeguarding instinct that Milliardo was feeling right now, and he didn't blame him one bit.

"What can I say?" Milliardo shrugged."She's all I've got, Duo, and sometimes it's not easy seeing her miserable."

"Why the hell do you let Heero do what he does to her?"Duo spat the question out in contempt of Heero, but the tone was dangerously near sounding accusatory.

"I'm going to let her make her own decisions," Milliardo answered.

"Hey, what the hell?She's screwing herself over – I'll bet Heero's having his fun doing that too – and you should damn well do something about it!How can you just stand around while some arrogant son-of-a-bitch is blowing your sister's life to hell?Damnit, Milliardo!I expect more than that of you!"

Milliardo put up his hands in defence."I can't do anything about it.I've tried, and I just can't do it.I don't want to do something that'll make her any worse.Losing Heero would do that to her."

"You're such a wuss.You've gotta do something."An awkward silence followed Duo's indictment.Duo recalled he had a glass of water in his hand and took a drink from it, all the time his eyes fixed on Milliardo's in a glare full of blame.

Finally, Milliardo surprisingly averted his eyes from Duo's and broke the silence."If you're so sure it can be fixed, why don't you fix it?"

"Er…" Milliardo walked away before Duo could finish, but he gave Duo one final piece of advice.

"Think about it, Duo.You may be able to fill the void."

_Fill the void…?Her void?Me?Hell no.I'll never be able to fill her void.And she couldn't fill mine, either._Duo repeated his last assertion to himself, making himself believe it, even though he knew she would be able to ease his emotional pain in an instant and bring him joyful contentment for the rest of his life.

Duo tossed the remaining contents of his cup down the drain and retired to his room.The rest of the day, he stayed in his room.He did not come out for dinner.He did not come out to say good night.He remained in his room, musing over the terrible events of the day.Already, just after one day, he was feeling like crap.He wordlessly praised Relena's doggedness, wondering what kind of a toll life was extorting from her.

He did not sleep well that night.He stared at the dark ceiling and the shadows periodically cast upon it by late-night commuters in their automobiles.He noiselessly chucked to himself, wondering if they were as tired as he wished to be.But no matter how hard he tried, he could not sleep, could not dream.He could only think.And he was doing quite a bit of it.

First, he thought of what life for him might be like with Relena.He imagined her lying on his bed, snuggled up next to him.He knew then he would sleep peacefully.He knew when he woke up in the morning and the first thing he saw was her radiant face, he would at last be able to start his day pleasantly.And even though he tried not too, he imagined himself, as her husband, being able to enjoy everything that perfect body had to offer.

But then, as must always follow fancies of such impossible pleasantries, distressing thoughts came to his mind as he thought of the many reasons why he could never hope to have Relena as his own.

The primary reason was a cruel-hearted man that he would once have called friend.She was this man's, not his own, and he could never change that.No matter how hurtful he was, no matter how awkward he made her feel, no matter how awful he made her out to be, she would keep coming back to him.Because she needed him.She needed someone to love her.But Heero Yuy didn't seem to anymore.And that's why she wanted him all the more.

And of course, there was the media.Duo realised that, if he were to marry Relena, it would only substantiate rumours of her fictitious extramarital affair with him.The media would surreptitiously make her out to be a shameless whore, and put the character of a betrayed, faithful lover on Heero.And Duo would never live to see that.

But even as he was beginning to picture her rejecting him if he were to offer, saying that he was too poor, not good-looking enough, manner-less, and whatnot, the peaceful lull of the night finally began to invite sleep, and his lids grew heavy.His last thought was a simple one: tomorrow, he _would_ confront Heero.He would never hurt Relena again.


	7. Shinjitsu

When Duo woke up it was already just about noontime.He languidly threw on some clean clothes and brushed his teeth.He took a minute to set his hair back into place and then headed out toward the kitchen.

"Morning, sleepyhead," followed by a few short giggles was the first thing Duo heard.He turned and saw Relena smiling warmly at him._Something must have cheered her up_.

"Morning."He smiled back."Where's everyone else?"

"Oh, Quatre took Wu Fei and Trowa out back to the tennis courts.He's teaching them how to play," Relena answered.

"I'll be that's a sight to see," Duo said, imagining Wu Fei trying to play tennis and swinging the racquet like a katana."What about He…?"_Don't ask that, you idiot!_

A bit of colour drained out of Relena's face, but she tried to keep a smile."Oh, well…he's still, I mean, I guess he's in his room."Her smile disappeared."Duo…I wanna see him."

_Yeah.I know.You'll always want to._"Uhm…well, I'm kinda hungry!What's for lunch?"

Relena brightened up a bit and giggled again."You're so cute, Duo!"Duo, too, cheered up in response to her."What do you want?"

"Aww, just a sandwich is fine.I'll just grab something and we can go outside and watch the guys playing tennis."

"Or trying, at least!"She asked one of the on-duty servants to fix Duo a turkey sandwich.Duo eagerly accepted it and devoured it before they had even gotten outside on their way to the courts.

_Damn, what a big back yard…_

"Duo?" Relena asked.

"Uh, yeah?"

"What do you, uh, think of me, like…as a girl, or…well, you know…?"She turned toward Duo, fervently awaiting his reply.

But Duo's mind was breaking supersonic speeds._What?What?Quatre?Damn, damn, damn!Quatre told her!Oh, I'm screwed now.That little Arabian bastard.What the hell am I gonna do?All right, Maxwell…there's only one thing to do…turn the situation around…_"Well, I guess you're kind of a nice person.I mean, you are.But we're just friends, okay?That's all.Nothing more.I mean, I wouldn't _want_ anything more." Duo cringed at his own last statement.It sounded a bit harsher that it was meant to.But maybe that was better, anyway.

Relena looked down, obviously very disappointed."Oh."Duo was a bit puzzled by her dissatisfaction.They had reached the tennis courts now.Relena stepped in and Duo followed after.They took a seat one the sidelines, on a little wooden bench.Quatre was in the middle of playing a game with Wu Fei.

"_Injustice!_"Duo turned to Wu Fei'sside of the court and saw him throw down his racquet in unrestrained disgust."_That was a cheap shot Quatre!Where is your honour!?_"

Quatre, on the other side of the court, looked slightly irritated, which was not typical of him."I told you, Wu Fei, that's a drop shot.It's a perfectly legal shot!"

"_You like drop?Me too!Let me show you a drop kick!_"

"Hey, Wu, calm down!Hehehe, looks like Quatre's busting you up pretty bad."Duo loved taunting his friend when he was in vulnerable positions.Wu Fei, in reply, stormed off the court."Relena," Duo started, thinking of a way to sheer her up, "Wanna play a bit?"

"No.I don't reel like playing right now."Duo shrugged his shoulders.

"Suit yourself."

"Actually," Quatre said, "We had best make our way back inside.It's about to rain."Quatre was right: Duo could already feel weak drops on his skin.He stood up and offered Relena his hand, but she ignored him and stood up on her own.In the same way, she began her way back into the mansion without waiting for the others.

"Well…hey, Trowa, Wu Fei, you two go on ahead, I've got something to talk to Quatre about."They did that (Wu Fei still mumbling crossly), leaving Quatre alone with Duo.

"Yeah?"

"I can't believe you told her."

"Huh?"

Duo frowned."What gives, Quatre?"

"Duo, what are you talking about?"

"Man, don't give me this crap.You told her.She asked me."

"Who asked you what?"Quatre looked sincerely puzzled.

"Dammit!Relena asked me what I thought about her!"

"And you think I told her…?But I didn't!What did you tell her, anyway?"

"I told her that she's just a friend."

"Duo, you should've told her the truth!"

"Whatever.Just lay off."

"But Duo, why do you think she was asking!?" Quatre demanded exasperatingly.

"Because you can't keep your mouth shut!"

"Duo, I told you, I didn't tell her!"

"You expect me to believe you?" Duo asked snidely.

"Yeah!" Quatre yelled back."I didn't tell her anything!I've barely spoken to her all morning!"

A sickening realisation dawned upon Duo, as he remembered her disappointment with his answer to her."Aw, crap…I screwed this up…" his stomached turned as he ran to the house.

He bolted through the kitchen and made his way up the spiralling staircase.When he reached the top, he turned to his right, the direction in which he knew Relena's and Heero's bedrroms to be.He knew he had to get to Relena's room and correct his mistake._I must've made her feel worthless_.When he turned down the hallway, however, he saw Heero casually strolling toward him.

Although Duo had by no means forgiven Heero for his transgression, he was in no mood to start a confrontation."Have you seen Relena?" he frantically asked.

Heero smirked."Sure.She just ran into her room."Duo began walking toward the door, but when he brushed by Heero, he felt a hand on his shoulder."So," came Heero's voice, "Who made her cry this time?"

"Screw you, Heero!"Duo shoved him off."You've got a lot of room to talk, you jackass."

Heero chuckled."She doesn't want to see you, Duo."He held up his hand showing Duo the ring on his finger."She only wants to see me.And I don't feel like seeing her right now."

"Dammit, how can you be so evil?"

Heero's facetious smile turned sour."Duo, do you know what kind of stress I'm under lately?Of course you don't.You could never know.Relena's so damn dependant anymore.She acts like she can't even function without me.I don't do that, Duo.I'm not a babysitter."

"what kind of a man are you, making excuses (_I sound like Wu Fei…_)?She needs you, dammit!Her whole family was slaughtered!She's not exactly living a stress-free life either!"

"Duo, I don't have any other family either.But you don't see me hanging all over her.I don't care what she goes through, it gives her no excuse to act like she does."

"Ha!It's called 'love,' Heero.Sorry if you can't understand that emotion."

"'Love?'"Heero laughed again."She'll do anything for me.She's like my puppet.She's like my _whore_."He laughed again.

But Duo had broken.He wasn't going to listen to Heero any longer.He balled his hand into a fist and lunged at Heero, with the full intent of hitting him in the face.Heero saw Duo jump at him, though, and almost effortlessly stepped to the side.As Duo flew past him, Heero threw out his leg and caught Duo in the gut, sending him to the floor.Duo turned to get up, but Heero's foot caught him again, this time in his face.Duo felt his lower lip being forced into his teeth, and he tasted blood.

"Next time think before you act," Heero spat."And _don't_ think about going in Relena's room.She's _my_ whore."He laughed again and then disappeared around the corner of the hallway.

Duo lay on the floor in pain._Maxwell, you idiot.Too damn hotheaded._He resolutely stood up.He contemplated listening to Heero and leaving Relena alone, but his anger got the best of him."Go to hell, Heero," he hissed, and opened the door to Relena's room.

He stepped inside and found her broken down on her bed, sobbing quietly, or just finished doing so.He knew it was he that had caused her this pain, and he felt awful at having done so.

But he didn't know if he should leave or try to comfort her.

She looked up and saw him standing in her doorway.She saw the blood trickling down his chin and gasped."Duo, what happened?"Her speech was slightly broken by her tears.

Duo reached to his lip and wiped the blood off."Oh, nothing," he lied, "I just tripped coming up the stairs and bit my lip pretty hard."A few drops of blood remained on his chin.

Relena stood off of her bed and walked over to hip, brushing the few residual drops off of his chin."Duo, you should be more careful…"

"I'm okay, really.I came up because I wanted to talk to you about earlier," he started.

"No, don't worry."She hesitated and looked at the floor as though the next thing she wanted to say was there spelled out for her."I guess, well, I mean… you helped me come to terms with reality, Duo.If you wouldn't want me as more that a friend, why would Heero?"Tears began forming in her eyes again, and she began softly whimpering.

"Relena, stop that, come on."He took her face in his hands and tilted it toward his."You're making two big assumptions there." She stopped weeping for a moment."One, that Heero's any better than me."Relena forced a smile, waiting to hear the second assumption she had made, hoping… but he didn't answer, he just continued to stare into her eyes, inviting her to ask.

She had to."What's the second?" she asked, looking up at him with eyes wide with naïve innocence.

"The second," he begun his answer and, bringing his mouth down to hers, quickly but gently kissed her."Is that I wouldn't want you as more than a friend."He had wanted to do what he had just done for such a long time that he couldn't have forsaken his opportunity.He was ready to accept the consequences, but he had no idea they would be in his favour.

She started to cry again, but her tears were a mixture of fear and happiness.She threw her arms around his waist, brought her face up to his, and kissed him again and again.Duo was definitely not expect her to react in this way, but he put his arms around her and pulled her close to him, letting her lips have their way with his.He sensed fear in her embrace and kisses, but he sensed love too, and he wondered if she really did love him, or if she was just using him as a backboard.

She stopped kissing him and brushed her fingers against his lips and wiped off a little blood.Her kisses had opened up the abrasion again."Heero did this to you, didn't he?"

Duo nodded.He nodded because he wanted her to hate Heero.He wanted her to love _him_.But at the same time he wondered how she had known that Heero had beat him up.

In an answer to his silent questions, she replied: "I heard you guys fighting.I don't want to be Heero's whore anymore, Duo!"And she began crying again.

Duo violently cursed Heero in his mind and now he wished he hadn't confronted him in the hall at all."You're not, Relena, you're not.You're not a whore.Never listen to Heero again.He's a worthless, cowardly excuse for a person, and he doesn't deserve you at all."

"Oh Duo… please, just hold me for a while," she sobbed into his chest."Don't go."

So he held her, giving her both love and protection.One part of him was berating him, telling him he wasn't doing the right thing, that Relena was Heero's.But another part of him told him that things were going to be different now.That Relena was no longer bound by the ring on her finger to a man that didn't love her.That he was going to be able to look after her now, and protect her from Heero.

And so he just stood there with the girl he loved in his arms.


	8. Shikashi...

_What can I give her?What do I hope to mean to her?I'm going to lose her.But I won't.I won't lose her.I can't lose her.Because I never had her._

Duo was lying on the grass.Relena was lying beside him.Maybe he was holding her.But he didn't know.All he knew was that he saw Heero's face in the clouds.And he should never have blinked.

Heero Yuy's indignant face appeared above his."Having fun?" is asked.But the voice was not normal.

It was a mixture of rancour, vengeance, castigation, and reality.And the intent to kill.But maybe that was just appropriated by the circumstances.

Duo blinked again.A gun had spontaneously materialised in Heero's hands.

"Mine."

_I know!_

Duo sat up abruptly.Relena did the same.But it was too bad for her.She fell back down on the grass, her blood staining it red._Does blood kill the grass?Or does it nurture it?_

Duo tried to shut his eyes, block out the terror, but they were already shut.He heard another gunshot.It might have been aimed anywhere – the target's significance was lost in a final passionate instant of dread before Duo awoke, covered in sweat.

This had been his second nightmare of the night._And I damn well deserve it_.He thought it must have been God's punishment, or perhaps a direct consequence of his well-deserved guilt.

_But no one knows!No one but me, and Relena.And God too._Duo hopped out of bed and walked toward the bathroom adjacent to his quarters.Never in his life could he recall a time that he had felt guiltier than he did now.He had confessed romantic feelings for his friend's fiancée, and she, in a passionate amalgamation of the many different emotions she was exposed to, had told him that he loved him too.But it couldn't be true.Now he was on the verge of ruining his a particularly important wedding too long in the making.

But maybe it wasn't entirely his fault.Heero, too, had precipitated the inevitable confrontation (that had, in turned, caused the exchange of emotions between Duo and Relena) with his unacceptable treatment of his fiancée.His behaviour indeed must also have contributed to the possible, and even plausible, termination of the engagement.

Yes, it was Heero's fault!

Duo opened the water faucet and filled a cup with the cold stuff._Who am I kidding?I took advantage of her when she needed some comfort.It's simple, and it's my fault._He emptied the cup, set it back down on the counter, and returned to his bed, his mind teeming with thoughts and questions.He would try to get some sleep that night, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep peacefully.Too much had happened in one week._Anyway, I've got to fix this whole mess…_

Sometime later, Duo woke up to the unusual feeling of hands running through his hair.Startled, he sat up abruptly, still only half-awake, only to be greeted with a tender "Good morning, sweetie" from his violator.She then leaned forward, brushed the bangs out of his eyes, and kissed him softly.

"Oh, morning, Relena," he replied, smiling.

"I never got a chance to thank you for yesterday.I just thought I would now."

_Man, I've gotta stop this before it goes any further!Come on, Maxwell, you're gonna have to fix this._He opened his mouth with the intent of saying, "Well, I shouldn't have done it.You're Heero's.I think it'd be best if we pretend the whole thing never happened," but instead, he said, "Hey, no problem!That's what friends are for, right?Anytime you need someone to talk to, just come and find me."

He was privately a bit disappointed at acknowledging that he was simply a second choice, a rebound opportunity, but he was even more upset that he had not said what he had wanted.

Relena looked slightly upset herself."Drop the act, Duo."

_Eh?How can she know?But maybe it's better this way._

She held his gaze with her eyes."It was more than that.We both know it was more than that.Please don't take that away from me."

_Aw.Damn._"Yeah, I guess it was."

A big smile lit Relena's face, and she kissed Duo again."Thanks again.Let's go get some breakfast."

Duo hopped out of his bed."Sure, go on down," he replied."I'll be right there after I get tidied up."

Relena nodded and walked out of Duo's room.Duo spent the next few minutes running through his daily morning routine: washing his face, brushing his teeth, doing his hair, getting dressed, and then he followed out of his room.

"She seems awfully chipper this morning."

Duo froze._Heero._He turned to see Heero leaning against the wall, staring at him.

"Is there a particular reason that my fiancée is paying you visits early in the morning?"Duo really couldn't blame him for being mad.Hell, he'd be mad himself if _his_ fiancée was going to see some other guy early in the morning.Of course, he'd never treat his fiancée like Heero treats Relena."Or," Heero continued, "Was she there all night?"

Duo was furious."I'm not taking that crap."

Heero turned his face away from Duo's and chuckled."So you want a repeat?I'll be glad to indulge."

"Screw you."

"Hn.I wish she would.But you'll have to tell me how she was."Heero looked up with a wicked smile.

_Fine.Be like that._"I respect her, Heero.Don't know about you."

"You're losing, Maxwell.If I were you, I'd lay off.I mean…what if the public found out Relena was sleeping around with a crooked priest from the colonies?That would be a disaster.And…what would her brother think?"

Duo smiled."You don't wanna know the answer to that, Heero."

"Hn.Just warning you, _sweetie_."Heero hissed out that last word, but slowly, as if savouring the taste, wanting to feel it for every lasting moment.He stood up and walked past Duo, brushing his shoulder with his own in a gesture of contempt.

Duo remained in the hall for a few more moments, deliberating on Heero's words, and despising him all the more._He would stoop so low as to publicly humiliate his fiancée?And how can he suggest that we're sleeping together?_

So with those questions in mind, he headed down toward the dining room.

Reaching his destination, Duo saw that he was, again, the last one to the table.Making sure to avoid eye contact with Relena, he quietly took a seat.

The breakfast was lively.Wu Fei was having a great time telling lame groaners at the table and acting as though they were absolute side-splitters.But it was no good time for Duo._I guess I just get one forbidden day.But she isn't mine anyway.What can I say?_

After breakfast, the group broke up to do their separate things.

Wu Fei took it upon himself to challenge Quatre to a tennis rematch.Quatre, knowing he had nothing to fear from his friend, gladly accepted.Trowa tagged along.Duo couldn't blame him; it looked to be one hell of a good laugh.Milliardo and Ms. Noin retired to begin a day's work.That left Duo, Heero, and Relena.

Duo noticed Relena get up from her chair and advance toward him._Well, I guess I'd better tell her._Duo was reluctant to put such a sudden end to his prospective relationship with Relena, but he knew he had to do so before Heero did something drastic.He readied himself as she was on her way over.But she was intercepted by Heero.

"Relena."He said.Nothing more than said.There was no emotion in his voice.None positive, none negative.Just a word uttered, impassive.

She turned to him, clearly surprised when he placed his hand on her shoulder.She had been essentially oblivious of him all morning."What, Heero?" she asked urgently, plainly wanting to be rid of him.

"Why don't you spend today with me?"There was no love in Heero's voice, nor was there any affection.Duo thought, however, he could trace a sort or a devious undertone.

"Heero!No way, not after what you did!You can't just expect me to forget that!You humiliated me in front of the entire _world_!"

"Relena, look.It's been tough lately, and I've been saying some things I don't mean."

_You lying bastard…_

"Heero!"Relena turned away."You really hurt me.And you didn't even apologise."

"Alright.If it's what you want, I'm sorry.But come on.Maybe all we need to do is spend some time together.We've fought in the past, and it's all gone over.Spend today with me, and we'll see how everything turns out."Heero's voice was falsely patient.

"I don't know," she replied rather timidly."Maybe not today, Heero.I don't know if I'm ready yet.Maybe tomorrow.I need to spend today alone."

"Is that really what you're planning to do?"Heero's voice was slightly irritated now, and Relena cringed a little."You've been acting pretty weird lately.Maybe there's something you need to tell me."

"No!" she nearly yelled back.Her voice calmed down, and she repeated: "No."Here she turned back toward him."There's nothing."

Heero sneered."You can't keep anything from me, Relena.It pains me that you even try.After everything that I do for you…"

"What do you do for me?" Relena interrupted, on the verge of tears."Talk about breaking off our engagement?Make me look like a fool on national television?Treat me like your _whore_?No, you don't do much for me at all, Heero!There are other people who can treat me a whole lot better!"She at once realised her mistake, but she was so entirely upset at this point that she didn't care.

"Really?"Heero asked, feigning surprise."Like who?"

Relena was crying now."What do you care?What do you care about me?"

He ignored her question."How about…" he pointed an accusatory finger in Duo's direction "…Duo?"

Duo jumped out of his seat."You son-of-a-bitch!"He wanted to run over to Relena and warn her to stop, but he knew what she was going to do.

"Yes!Yeah, I guess so, Heero!"She had admitted it.

"Hn.Just wondering, that's all.Well, good day to you both then.Duo?"He stared at Duo with odious eyes."Have fun with my fiancée.I guess today she's _your_ whore."

And he walked out, leaving Duo with a million thoughts in his head.


End file.
